I was listening to Sunday service this morning on my phone. The kids had swim, and my husband picked up an overtime shift and it just worked better for me to spend some time with God through my AirPods.
I ended up crying during service as I had a pretty powerful 'ah ha.' Let me first rewind and share my morning did not start spectacularly. My son came in around 4am and woke me up. I am not even sure why, but I walked him back down the long hall and into his room. As I was getting cozy in his bed next to him, seconds away from both of use drifting back to sleep, the smoke detector outside of his room started chirping.
There is no way I could handle this on my own at this hour. I knew my husband would wake a little before 6am, and he could switch out the battery. So, there I was... looking at the ceiling, practicing breathing techniques (more on that in weeks to come), praying that the endless chirps wouldn't wake the kids. My husband's alarm finally sounded, and I pleaded for him to make the switch. He obliged. And I *finally* fell back asleep around 6:15. Only to have the kids wake me up around 6:30. Ugh.
I made the kids 'made-to-order' breakfast, which is not terribly uncommon on the weekends. They maybe gave me a prompted 'thank you.' Emptied the dishwasher. Switched the laundry. Picked up the shoes that somehow always end up over the house. Pulled the chicken out of the freezer to thaw. Cleaned up the kids plates. Got out the colors they asked to do. Put the colors away after they decided to play in the back yard. Started to make them a snack (didn't you just eat??). Finally sat down with a cup of coffee and my Sunday service.
The service always starts with worship music. It does not disappoint. One of the songs today is by Leeland, called 'Way Maker.' It's such a powerful song (recommend the listen). In the song, lyrics reference God and say
"Even when I don't see it, You're workin'
Even when I don't feel it, You're workin'
You never stop, You never stop workin'"
At first, *I* felt seen and validated. Like everything that goes into 'Mom-ing' was being recognized. Like God himself was saying to me 'I see you. You are always on the go, doing the things... You never stop working.'
But then, as tears came to my eyes... I realized that just as I so often feel unnoticed and (unintentionally) unappreciated by my kids and spouse, so often I unintentionally fail to notice God and all the amazing things He is constantly doing for me and my family.
It hit me hard today. And I tried to wear that lens all day. Thank you for the food to make the never-ending-meals/snackes. Thank you for the water to wash the dishes and laundry. Thank you for the electricity to run the dryer. Thank you for children to cook for. Thank you for normal development so those children can communicate their needs/wants to me. Thank you for technology to allow me to stream live church to my kitchen. Thank you for... thank you for... thank you for....
He never stops working. And what service taught me today, is often when we are at our weakest, He is right along side of us, offering grace, support, and exorbitant amounts of love.
Strength and healing,
Here is the link to my church. All are always welcome.
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